Over the last year or so, I've asked out several girls with varying responses. Before I get into that though, I want to delineate a process, of what goes through our heads when we ask you out:

Oooh, she's cute!
*start conversation* 
Wow, she said something witty!
"How about dinner?"

I'd like to say that there's more. I'd like to say that I felt some sort of primal connection and that you're special. I'd love to say that your demeanor reminds me of a gentle ocean breeze, or that your smile melts my soul - but it doesn't, and you're not special. You are adorable, you are (decently) intelligent, and I want to get to know you better.

I used to think women realized this, so last year, I asked out a girl who I had just met that same week. She was pretty, energetic, and I found her spurts of evanescent ebullience rather refreshing. I asked her out, without any warning of the unimaginable horror that was to come. It was, in fact, this single action that led to the three most ridiculous weeks of my life. 

"Sure," she acquiesced (and guys, for all practical purposes, sure should just be taken as a no in this context). I was ecstatic; I had just conquered one of the most prevalent societal fears--and what's more, I succeeded. While the details aren't really important, we didn't really work out. In fact, the date itself never really worked out.

Now, whenever that incident comes up, our female mutual friends tend to comment, saying something like "you asked her out--but you barely even knew her!" God damn it. Why the hell do you think I asked her out!? Do you expect me just to do nothing, and somehow perhaps we'll get to know each other?

A date is nothing special; it's just me saying "I think you're worth two hours of my time." If it doesn't work out - whatever. In fact, most of my dates do not work out in romantic ways, but instead, pave the road for long-lasting friendships. I hope that those of you reading this will understand that next time a boy asks you out, it's probably not because he's in love with you. Get over yourself.

(This is one situation, but it's happened multiple times. I don't mean to isolate anyone in particular... this was just the best illustration)

twitter: @zeteg

Let me start by saying that I am by no means a recruiting expert. I don't have any recruitment psychology under my belt, and I don't have any witty questions to ask. However, I've been giving interviews for the last few days and some things have really stood out as annoying. These are my opinions, and may not apply 100% to every kind of interview. Anyway, let's proceed in chronological order:

"The Slime" (Handshake)
You'd be surprised how many people start off with a bad handshake. If you haven't interviewed much before, you might not even know what a bad handshake is. The absolute worst kind of handshake is the sweaty, slimey handshake. If your hands sweat when you're nervous, wipe them off on your shirt and let your hands air out before the interview. Don't keep keep clinched fists. Wet handshakes feel disgusting, and they make you seem cold and inconsiderate. 

"The Deadman" (Handshake)
A handshake is a mutual exchange, and just because your interviewer takes the initiative to hold your hand, doesn't mean you should let yours go limp. Not only does a limp handshake convey a lack of confidence, it also makes me want to wash my hand afterwards and leaves me with a general feeling of disgust. Also, remember you have your entire hand to shake. Don't close off half your hand - that's awkward.

"The Governator" (Handshake)
I don't know if Arnold actually does this, but the name is funny so I used it. Remember you're shaking a hand as a gesture of respect. Do not destroy your interviewer's hand. You're not trying to show how strong or violent you can be - you're trying to convey that you're a decent human being... and you won't do that by making them squirm. Watch yourself, especially if you're a big person.

 "The Sunburn" (General)
Make sure to arrive to an interview well ahead of time. I know it's trivial, but when someone walks in out of breath or really red, I can't help but notice. While we try to look past it, I wonder if some part of me subconsciously judges you for being really really red. I know I keep asking myself when you're so red, while you're talking. It's distracting, even if nothing else. Arrive ahead of time, grab a drink, and calm down. 

"The Damaged Goods" (General)
Now, a lot of people might disagree with me on this one, but my logic is the same as for The Sunburn. If you have a cut or physical deformation in an obvious but strange spot, consider describing what happened briefly. I doubt anyone will judge you for it - but if you don't tell us what happened, we're likely to spend half of our attention conjuring possible scenarios in our head, instead of listening to you. Even something simple such as "Sorry about the cut, my razor slipped this morning" would return my attention to you.  

"The Hottie" (Nervous Ticks)
Get a feel for the room before you walk into the interview, or right as you walk in. Don't wait until half way through the interview to say "I'm feeling hot", and take off your jacket. Not only is this distracting, but it makes us remember you as the guy/girl who took off a jacket. You want us to remember you for something you did. Unfortunately, it's much easier to remember things we see, than things we hear. We see few quirks, and hear a lot of descriptions.

"Super-Intensity" (Nervous Ticks)
Please do not be overly intense. I really do appreciate enthusiasm and energy, but don't over do it in the wrong ways. You should enthusiastically describe things you've done, but you shouldn't yell them at me. You should set your pace to be about the same as your interviewer, and you should keep about the same volume. I have all types of friends, ranging from super geek to it's-homecoming-every-day, and it still throws me off guard when an interviewee starts yelling in an interview. 

 "The Mystery" (Answering)
Interviews are one of the only places where being terse will work against you. I don't want you to keep talking, but don't be too laconic either. If I ask you a yes/no question, I probably expect you to elaborate at least a bit. Don't answer "have you had any other experience" with just "yes." Take questions as an opportunity to express what you want to convey, three times.

"The Wanderer" (Answering)
Some really awesome people come into interviews without the faintest idea why they're applying, or what message they want to get across. While I'd love to hire these often-talented people, I also recognize that a smart person without drive, does about as much work as a dumb person with drive. Before you walk into the interview, ask yourself why you want the position, and more importantly ask yourself how you want your interviewers to see you. Do you want to be seen as reliable? Smart? Hard-working? Pick one or two, and focus. Offer three examples or explanations of the major points you want to project. I might miss the first two, but I'll probably remember the third.

"The Know-It-All" (Finishing)
Please have at least one general purpose question prepared, that we probably won't already have answered in the interview. If you can manage two, even better. I used to believe that having questions prepared is silly, but after conducting all these interviews, it's remarkable how much smarter having questions actually makes you sound, if they're good questions. Despite what some teachers say - there is such thing as a dumb question. If you have nothing good to ask, ask me about opportunities for advancement. Questioning advancement implies commitment, and I think most recruiters <3 commitment.

That's all I can think of for now. I hope this was helpful. If anyone with lots of hiring experience wants to argue what I've said, or add stuff of their own to this list, shoot me an email ($firstName.$lastName@gmail.com). 

You can also follow me on twitter: @zeteg

I spent a few hours last night at YCNYC, which was absolutely awesome. However, getting through to pg isn't an easy task. In fact, it seems like he's been working on his investor superpowers. Let's break it down...

Normally it's like this

pg's Delegate Barrier

Formation of pg's Delegate Barrier

pg's Barrier Completed

So - how do you make sure you get through?

1. Approach from the side, at the wall. If he isn't at a wall, approach from the side, slightly behind him. Given some time, he'll be forced backwards towards the wall and you'll have your prime spot. Wall spots are desirable because it's the closest to pg. In a loud environment like YCNYC, it's difficult for other spots to get a good conversation going.
2. Find the weakest link. On your approach, you can usually lodge one shoulder into any given separation. If you're not at the wall, make sure the shoulder you insert is the one on the side of the person furthest back. This causes that person to feel like he/she is imposing, and you'll get more room. You'll also stop yourself from being squeezed out.
3. Establish a toehold. Even if you can't completely get into a space (provided there is a small opening), put a foot in there, and wobble (slowly) back and forth. This often causes people to move aside. At the very least, it stops people from completely closing you out. 
4. Comment, and then engage. Changing topics is difficult because it's hard to interject at the end of a response, before a new question is asked. If you can add onto a comment (kind of like HN!!), and then shift the focus, you can take the opportunity to take a step into the inner circle.

This was meant to be semi-satirical. Oh, Kelsey - email me so we can discuss!

Follow me on Twitter: @zeteg

On the second day of my Algorithms class, my professor wrote two algorithms on the board:

Linear Search(...)
(Linear search is a process where you iterate through a list from start to finish, and return the result as you find it. Doesn't work so well with large sets of numbers.)

Binary Search(...)
(Binary search is a process where you keep cutting a sorted list in half, until you find the result. It works well with large sets of numbers.)

He paused for a moment, and asked us a fairly simple question:

What's better? Linear Search or Binary Search?

Not only does my professor have a heavy accent, but it seems like he's assaulting you every time he asks a question. We all froze up, and mumbled "binary..?" The thing is, we've been taught to analyze everything through time complexity, and for large data sets, binary search has an obvious advantage. We started thinking more. "Doesn't it depend on how the data is organized?", "It depends on large the data set is!", etc etc.

He solicited responses for a full 7 minutes (he counted), and then said:

What is better anyway? What if you have a stupid boss who doesn't understand complicated code? Maybe you write a nice binary search algorithm and show it to him. He thinks it's wrong because it's complex and he fires you. You see, now linear search is better. At least you still have a job."

Hidden animosity aside, this was a very important lesson to teach. Because we were taught about time complexity, an entire class of students managed to ignore common sense. 

Takeaway: How much would you charge if someone asked you to clean every window in the United States? Why?

Follow me on twitter: @zeteg

In This Series...

1. Prelude to Eternity
2. The Tale of Eternity: Part 1
3. The Tale of Eternity: Part 2
4. Interlude: See-Invisibility Exploit
5. The Tale of Eternity: Part 3
6. (more to come)

If you only care about the DDoS attack, scroll down.

I remember reading Paul Graham's essays, which kept stressing the importance of finding compatible co-founders. One or two of them also mentioned that poor founder relations are often a reason for startup dying. All praise the oracle. 

The Golden Years

EternityRO started with a bang. Our IRC channel was flooded with regulars, and frequented by random players here and there who needed support. The work never seemed to stop. We barely slept, and implicitly divided up our availability so there was always at least one person taking charge. Our dedication paid off, and Eternity Version 1 grew to about 1,200 simultaneous players. Boom, bang--whatever you want to call it, we really couldn't have dreamed for more. I was even scared we might go over our allocated 1TB of bandwidth for the month.

The Dilemma

Alas, all good things must come to an end. After several weeks of operation, the stress etched away Ayumi's sanity, and I witnessed a cascade of poor decisions. From freaking out at players to disappearing randomly, it was obvious that something was wrong. Like any friend, I tried to talk to her - but I was met with hostility and anger. 

If this were a smaller project, I would've said, "Screw the project. You're stressed out and overreacting, and I want to help. Sit down." That's what any good friend would have done. But thousands of people were depending on us, and by this time, almost two thousand dollars had already been invested by the population. I had to weigh an emotionally unstable co-founder against a semi-business, and the enjoyment of thousands of people. 

Enter Snow and Aisha - two of the five women responsible for EternityRO's booming success. Aisha's experience and personality made her well suited for management, and Snow was a development powerhouse. After trying to lure them into Eternity for a few days, they offered their assistance... but at a price. They wanted me to fire Ayumi and Prodigy.

The Decision

How does one co-founder fire the others? I guess you don't - but there was no equity in this case. After deliberating and arguing with myself for a night, I begrudgingly agreed. In retrospect, I can say I made the right decision. While it may sound morally abhorent, it might be better to look at this through consequentialist lenses. The alternative would've been to let Eternity die. Hey - I saw Social Network! I'm not the only one who did this!

Removing influential community members is usually a delicate process. You need to have finesse, and yet generate enough momentum to carry the motion through. It's actually remarkably similar to the Needle Through Glass technique I learned. The trick to using a needle to penetrate a pane of glass involves throwing the needle straight, yet with enough force to break the glass. A fault on either end will either bounce the needle back or shatter the glass. I'm getting a little bit off topic; I'll explain in another post some time how this and other techniques like breaking bricks and metal bars works. For now, here's a picture from when I was learning:

I changed the passwords on every system, and even the ssh ports. I closed down their forum accounts, disabled their SVN access, and redirected their emails to a new support email I set up - all while they were asleep. The last thing I needed was an emotional overreaction. Eternity was going strong, and I wasn't going to let it break apart from the inside. I announced their departures as mutual, and announced Snow and Aisha shortly after. The community didn't care all that much.

The Hiring Process

Ayumi and the others freaked and eventually disappeared from the internet (not an easy task). To compensate for the missing manpower, I charged Aisha with recruiting new support staff. She solicited applications, and to my surprise, recruited 20 new support GMs (Game Masters). Twenty is an exorbitant amount of people to introduce at once - but my objections were moot. Although Aisha was actually very small, cute, and huggable in real life, she scared me online.

Here's an approximate breakup of what happened to the twenty keen recruits:

• 10 of them quit or stopped logging in after the first month due to stress, incompetence, and other factors
• 5 of them dropped out between the first and second month due to stress, and real life
• 2 of them dropped out between the second month and fourth month
• 1 of them was fired for outright cheating
• 1 of them was fired for conspiring with enemies/competitors
• 1 of them stayed on and proved to be both exceptionally useful and intelligent. Hello Griffin!

Training twenty people at once was downright painful, especially since they were all volunteers. We didn't pay any of our staff, so you might be curious why anyone would work for us. Well, people like to have a sense of power, and that's really why people become Game Masters - even though they'll tell you it's because they want to help the community. 

So why did 85% (17/20) of our new recruits drop out? Some of you HR fanatics have probably already decided that we had a bad selection or orientation process. While this might be true of this specific incident, our future open-hiring showed similar patterns. No, the problem is deeper rooted than our practices.

To understand why we had such a ridiculous churn rate, we need to look at motivation. People are only motivated by power for so long; once the honeymoon rush is gone, they lose their incentive. Add constant player-abuse, cheating accusations, and pressure to perform - and all of a sudden the job isn't so appealing anymore. Since they don't have much to lose, most people either quit or simply disappear.

The Irony

However, there was one out of the 20 who stayed on board, firm and committed. In fact, after version 1, I gave him administrative powers and started sharing all my plans with him. He essentially took on the role of co-founder, and at times even put me in my place. But why didn't he quit? Why didn't he lose motivation? You could say it was because he loved the community, but I have a better answer. 

After version 3 died, we had a reminiscent chat. Apparently the only reason he applied for a Game Master position, was so he could cheat - but not in the classic way. Because all Game Masters could see which other Game Masters were online, Griffin used this to his advantage. He ran a small bot network on the server, and linked the software to his Game Master account. His script worked something like this (pseudo code):

if(GameMasters.Online.Count() > 0) { AllBots.logoff();}

Basically, because his bots avoided the inherent cheat protection, a Game Master was required to catch them. If they were never logged on when Game Masters were online, no one could ever prove he was cheating. I laughed when I found out. Obviously, Griffin stopped doing this eventually, and probably stayed on for the same reason as I did: intellectual curiosity. Several of our other staff members were also previously cheaters - ha. 

The DDoS Attack

Recently, a wise man told me "when you run a successful tech startup, there are two truths: you will be DDoS'd and you will be sued." One night, I was sitting peacefully at my computer, when the server froze. After frantically trying to SSH into my box after being pelted with close to a hundred calls/texts/emails/forum PMs/IRC messages, I decided to log into my control panel to check my bandwidth. Oh my f***. Here's what I saw:

Distributed Denial of Service Attack Explained

The Distributed Denial of Service Attack--otherwise known as a DDoS attack--is a cyber attack, where many different computers flood a target with data at the same time. The theory behind a DDoS attack, is if you can overwhelm the victim's resources while making your requests indistinguishable from legitimate request, then the host can't protect against it. 

DDoS attacks are usually done through compromised machines. For example, someone may send you a virus which stays dormant until it receives a command. Upon activation, the virus will use your computer to send packets of data to a server that the controller requested. This happens to all compromised machines, which means the originating IPs of these attacks could be spread all over the world. As the victim, you can't filter out IPs or subnets at risk of filtering out your legitimate users. 

At a certain point, the victim is overwhelmed with data. Either the attack overloads the bandwidth capability of the server, or it strains the hardware or software in the machine. Eventually, if the attack is successful, the server is unable to operate properly. In our case, the bandwidth capability was overloaded.

Containment Efforts

I googled this, asked friends, and even emailed professors and experts in security, asking how I could stop these DDoS attacks. I remember a lot of jargon about APF, firewalls, etc, but here's one of the more helpful responses I received:

So I had a brief chat with Dr. McHue about your problem and depending on how severity the DDoS attacks, you might be screwed. He actually recommend the IP caching filtering approach that I suggested (I was surprised... I was right) however he indicated that you will probably need some dedicated hardware for it because the lookups will eat an entire CPU, possibly more. You also want to make sure you store the IP lookup table entirely in memory. Finally, this machine has to be located far enough up the network so you minimize the packet lost due to high traffic; this might mean putting the machine at the ISP even.

Other things that he suggest is simply changing the IP of the machines you have and see how long it takes for the attackers to update. Depending on how long it take, you might get some clues as to how professional these attackers are. The second suggestion he made is to incorporate some sort of distributed architecture - multiple machines for logging in and clusters for the game state. The greater the distribution, the more difficult it is to get flooded with traffic.

What did you guys do to piss someone off enough to DDoS you?

Basically... we needed specialized hardware, or (and this is key): we're screwed. Even more importantly is the last sentence! 

My... Roundabout Solution

Well, I was stumped, but I made some assertions that proved useful in solving the problem:

1. EternityRO is a game, so whoever is DDoSing me probably isn't really all that professional.
2. If I make it more expensive and risky to DDoS me, they might stop.
3. Additional bandwidth probably costs less than acquiring new compromised machines. Outputting too many packets from each machine would make their attacks detectable and then I could filter them out.

Now, at this point, I had consulted Razor Servers on what I should do. Unfortunately, their response to stemming a DDoS attack was to null route my IP - which is fancy for turning my machine connection off. This really pissed me off, but I never stopped using Razor Servers. Their services are generally fantastic and well priced, but their customer service needs a lot of work. Rather than keep my main box there, I rented out several virtual private servers for secondary functionality - but I'll get to that later.

I did a quick google search, found that Softlayer offered large uplink ports, a Cisco Guard, and a server in Washington DC. Having no alternative, I moved my server to Softlayer. They gave me a 1gbps--1000 mbps--line for just $10/mo! Obviously, I couldn't use that much all the time, but I also doubted DDoS attackers could keep their attacks up for all that long. I essentially called the bluff and won. After a while, we stopped receiving DDoS attacks altogether. 

I guess this wasn't the best solution, but it was the solution we were looking for. I'd like to think running any project is about judgment calls - and it wouldn't have been worth our effort to find a technical solution to such a big problem. For a larger corporation, that may not be the case.

More to come... I'll post more as I write it. Follow me on twitter (@zeteg) for updates, or email me if you have questions. 

Do you reply to text messages randomly, days after you receive them? Are you really old, and have no idea why people use text messaging? In this fully-annotated PG-13 post, I will try to explain why you need to crank up your phone etiquette. Let's start with several of my least favorite cases.

The WTF????

Usually I'm more respectful of attempts to conversation, but this is just too much. If anyone can tell me what she's trying to say, I'll buy you a drink. In case you don't know, this is an iPhone conversation where my text is in green, and my friend's text is in white. Observe:

Come on - seriously? I really didn't know how to ... SKDJGSHKDJHKJFSDKSDGN

The Delay

I end up in a lot of confused text-conversations about nothing. How can you talk about nothing? Take this wonderful example:

Thirty three hours. Thirty three. 

(Kris is my English name which some friends use... because people tend to butcher Shenglong, or ask me 5 times if that's actually my real name. More on that some other time though...)

The Over-Emphasis

I love it when people text me enthusiastically; it makes me feel like I'm not wasting my time replying. Once in a while though, lack of originality and emphasis can be a little... silly:

I am tempted to model her O's as a function of messages received. 

Why Text Anyway?

There has been a lot of negativity surrounding text messaging - and how carriers make a ton of money from them. I had a brief detour in youth marketing at a major carrier, and I can testify that changing send-and-end users (people who just call) was a primary objective. However, I also used to be a send-and-end user.

In the United States, calling cell phones makes perfect sense, since you have nation-wide roamaing and long distance, just as if they were local minutes. This isn't the case in Canada though, and sometimes you get charged long distance, even when dialing in the same area code. The charges are so obscured, actually, that the majority of university students in Canada don't even know in what situations they would be charged for calls.

Add on background noise, multiple conversations, and texting in class or at work, and you have plenty reasons why texting is great. The main use of texting though, is the ability to carry on passive conversations. Texts aren't as long as emails, and it allows for quicker exchanges when necessary, and slower exchanges when material runs dry.

Maintaining a good text-conversation allows you to build rapport over time, and over multiple situations. You're passively inserting yourself into someone's entire life - and any good salesperson will tell you how important that is. The reason you want to have dinner with sales targets and have golf with them, is because you want to expand the field of exposure in order to gain trust. Texting isn't as good as being there in person, but it's sure a lot better than nothing. 

The 2-2-2 Rule

My obsessive use of phone and email has led to the invention of the 2-2-2 rule, which I often impose onto friends: pick up calls within 2 seconds, answer texts within 2 minutes, and respond to emails within 2 hours. There are obvious exceptions, but it's a rule of thumb to try and stick by whenever possible. 

More than anything, if it's important, I'll probably call you before I text you, and text you before I email you. Needless to say, I've been told to screw off on many occasions :)

Follow me on twitter: @zeteg 

Another chapter of The Tale of Eternity this week. Sorry for the delay. 

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More to come... follow me on Twitter (@zeteg) for updates

I'm very fed up with the University of Toronto, and its terrible network management. Last Saturday, I was cut off from the internet at about 11:00 PM for no apparent reason. I hadn't touched any cables (I'm hooked up by a cord), and the other people in this suite had perfectly working internet. I sighed heavily, scooped some ice cream, and proceeded to diagnose the problem.

The little connectivity symbol on my startbar was acting strange. Once in a while it would appear normal:

1. My ethernet card was broken
2. My ethernet cord or socket was really broken
3. My MAC address been banned off the network without notice

Let me rewind. I'm currently living at the University of Toronto for the summer for an internship - I don't actually go here. My $600/month under a 4 month contract is supposed to include internet service, and I have been very careful not to violate any of their sensible rules. I say sensible, because I'm pretty sure a failing law student drew up their contracts. I point you to one of many issues with the Occupancy Agreement, for example:

 

14. The Resident will not keep any firearm, fireworks, weapon, explosive, animal, fish, reptile, insect, bird in the Room, Suite or Residence

 

Read it carefully - multiple problems should jump out at you. This is a completely insensible request, and every suite in the entire building is in violation. So once again, I obey all the sensible requests.

To test whether my ethernet card was broken, I tried a wifi connection, and also connected my computer to my friend's computer through the same ethernet cord. I then connected my computer to my friend's wall socket. This tested both #1 and #2, and showed me that for sure, I had been banned.

But why? I didn't get a knock on the door, a message, or even an email. Okay, network administrators are sensible people - I'm going to go talk to them. If they're up banning me at 11:00 at night, they should probably be awake right? Wrong. My suite mate told me that apparently (I can't confirm this) this university has software that flags individuals. Then, apparently there is a delay between flagging and banning. This means that once you've been flagged, you will be banned at some random time in the future. I really hope this is not true... but evidence thusfar corroborates the theory.

I went down stairs and I was told that the technicians "do not have a set schedule". Furthermore, I was told I could not contact them directly, and that I could fill out a form and they would find me "when they have time." However, being a long weekend, that might not be until Tuesday. I was about to have a verbal scuffle at this point with the desk staff, but realized they couldn't do anything about poor policy. I asked for a contact number, made them aware of my situation, and went up stairs to sleep.

The next day, a technician comes to my door and tells me he can't do anything to help me. Yes, he came to my door to tell me this. He further assured me that he would find out what was going on, and at least let me know by Tuesday. He couldn't even find out why I had been banned, and blamed it on the "central network" - and his tone suggested it was some sort of omnipotent power. He further suggested that I may have been banned in error, and that I should find alternative ways to access the internet.

Good point, technician! I might have been banned in error. I went back to my computer, and decided to just get myself online, because it's not like they intended to ban me - right? 

This is the standard page, telling you to authenticate yourself. I just used the same information I signed up with originally, and it worked. Had they banned my records, could easily have wrote a script to brute force every room-birthday combination. Of course I didn't, because I wouldn't want to do anything bad. They hadn't banned my room, so it must have been a mistake. I ran a security check, and bamn:

I was back online! I could hang out with all your wonderful people again:

Subsequently, I have been banned again yesterday, and just now again about 50 minutes ago. The funny thing is, I figured maybe I had broken one of their rules.. so I did a test. Between when I was first banned and now, the only things I have done are:

• Visit HN and read articles
• Use Wikipedia
• Check my Gmail
• Use Facebook / Twitter / LAL / G+ / MSN / Skype / GTalk
• Google random things here and there

No video streaming, no downloads, not even YouTube. It's almost Thursday, and no one has gotten back to me yet. I know this isn't a big technical accomplishment, but it's a great illustration of outdated techniques and poor implementation/service. At the very least, it's a semi-funny story to read (I hope).